This is an edited version of a podcast episode. If you prefer to listen, click Make Me Whole Podcast to find this and all my other episodes.
Note: There is brief strong language
Hey! Welcome (back) to the Make Me Whole blog series where we explore what it means we just live better. I'm your host, Joset Rosado: proud Latina and licensed therapist bringing that unique perspective to the conversation. So, whether you're looking to deepen your relationships, improve your mental health, or simply find more joy, this is where you need to be!
I’m so excited to talk to all my fans today. I just want to continue to thank everyone for the undying support. What are we talking about today? Well, I have been thinking over the last couple of months. I’ve had some time to focus on the “Me” that I want to be, and I realized that even though I am Grown-grown at this point, everyday I learn something else. So, I wanted to share that today with all of you and see if any of these things resound with you.
You know, sometimes it takes a while for things to click. It's like we're walking around in life with our eyes closed, and then one day everything becomes crystal clear. We realize that we've made mistakes and perhaps we've been neglecting the things we need to do so we're really in a good place. So today I'm going to share some of the lessons I’ve been learning (and sometimes relearning!) with you.
1. First it hurts, then it changes you. Sometimes we just have to go through tough times in order to grow. I know it's not going to always feel good, but it is necessary. So don't be afraid of a little bit of pain. Embrace it, learn from it, and let it change you for the better.
2. Take care of yourself. Are you starting to neglect yourself again? It's so easy to put ourselves last, but we need to prioritize what's important to us, what helps us thrive. Think of one small thing you can do today, whether that is taking a bubble bath, or going for a walk outside, or getting a nice fancy coffee and doing some journaling. We do deserve to take care of ourselves and we can never let that go by the wayside.
3. As Benny Lewis said, “There are 7 days in a week and ‘someday’ is not one of them.” We can't keep putting things off. Life is short, and we need to stay in the moment. See what we can do on any given day. So make that phone call. Book that trip. Commit to those things you've been delaying.
4. I know I'm going to get a lot of comments about this, but, Girl, you need to stop wearing that hoodie and those leggings all the time. It's time to wear some real clothes. Listen, I'm all for comfy, and God knows throughout the pandemic I was loving sitting here dressing anyway that I wanted to, but sometimes we need to dress up and show the world what we're made of. Maybe putting on some nice clothes can actually boost your confidence and help you perform better in whatever it is that you decide to do today.
5. Just because you lost me as a friend, doesn't mean you gained me as an enemy. It's important to remember that just because a relationship changes, that doesn't mean it has to be a negative thing. We can still wish each other well, and move on with love and kindness
6. “A salary is the drug they give you to forget your dreams”. -Kevin O’Leary. I know this is true, 100%, especially when you're trying to plan your next steps. It's easy to get comfortable in a job that pays the bills, but we can't forget about our goals and the things that we're passionate about. We need to find ways to pursue them, even if it's just a little bit every single day.
7. Always keep $20 in your pocket or purse. You never know when you might need extra cash. Plus, having a little bit of money saved up can give us peace of mind and help us feel a little bit more secure.
8. Stop allowing situationships to prevent you from going on dates, because the one you’re hanging around? Girl, you know that's not your man. We can't keep waiting around for someone who's not willing to commit. We deserve someone who is fully invested in us and will show it, so don't settle for anything less!
9. Why are you paying attention to people who don’t build you up or improve your life? That doesn't make any sense. Social media can be a really toxic place, and we need to be intentional about who we surround ourselves with, even online. So unfollow those negative accounts and fill your feed with positivity.
10. Go wash the dishes. Take those clothes out of the dryer. I know, it's not the most exciting task in the world, but it needs to get done. You’ll feel better once you get it taken care of.
11. Bees don't waste their time explaining to flies why their honey is better than shit. Now I know that's a little bit crude, but the message is important. Don't waste your time trying to convince people who don't appreciate your value. Focus on the ones that do.
12. If it were easy, everyone would be doing it. Remember that when you're facing a challenge or working towards a goal. It’s not supposed to be easy, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth it.
13. Breathe. Unclench your jaw. Relax your shoulders. Everything's going to be okay. Sometimes we just need to take a deep breath and let go of our tension. Trust that everything will work out.
14. Do your taxes. I know, taxes. Not fun at all, but it's a necessary evil. Don't put them off until the last minute. It's March, people, there’s still time to get it together!
15. If you say no, and someone gets angry, it doesn’t mean you should have said yes. Your boundaries and feelings are valid, and you have the right to say no without feeling guilty.
16. You made a mistake. It's okay! Pick yourself up and keep going. We all make mistakes, but it's how we handle them that really matters, so don't beat yourself up. Learn from it and move on.
17. Blend your makeup. Trust me you, don't want to walk around with that heavy, harsh makeup line on your face. Invest in a good blending brush or a sponge and take your makeup game to the next level. Also, watch videos on YouTube. There are so many experts sharing their knowledge for free. You can learn a lot! I certainly have.
18. Today is the perfect last day to be what you never ever want to be again. This is your reminder that you have the power to change your life at any moment. Don't let your past dictate your future.
19. Again, I know you guys aren’t going to like this one, but go to the gym. Exercise is important for your physical AND mental health. Find a workout that you actually enjoy and make it part of a routine. If you can't get to the gym, go on YouTube. Free video workouts, every day, all the time. If a whole workout seems overwhelming, start small. Take a walk around the block, stretch for 3 minutes, or do a few jumping jacks. Something is infinitely better than nothing.
20. You can't pay your bills with other people's opinions, so you might as well leave the unhelpful ones behind. This is a gentle reminder to focus on your own goals and dreams rather than seeking validation from others.
21. If it doesn't scare you, find something that does. Stepping up out of your comfort zone is a necessary thing for you to see growth and progress. Embrace the fear and see where it takes you.
22. Stop striving to “be real”, because you are already real. Change that to “be genuine”. You want to both surround yourself with genuine people and also have them accept your whole self.
23. Always keep a tampon or a panty liner in your purse. You never know when you or someone else may need it. Be prepared or save the day!
24. Say it with me: Everything is working out for my greatest good. Remember that! This is a powerful affirmation to remind you that even when things don't go as planned, everything happens for that reason. We may not understand, but it's ultimately leading you towards that greater good.
25. If you don't have a clear purpose on why you want to accomplish your goals, you'll never be motivated to start. Take the time to really think about your goals and why they matter. That clarity will give you the motivation you need to keep going.
26. You matter. You are enough. You are worthy, and everything's going to be okay. These are words that we all need to hear from time to time. It's so easy to get caught up in the chaos of life and forget our worth, but it's critical to remember that we are valuable and deserving of love and especially respect. Don’t forget that.
27. Rest is necessary for both mental and physical health, so if you're feeling burnt out, give yourself permission to take a break and allow yourself to recharge.
28. Don't let fear hold you back. Fear is this powerful emotion that can paralyze us and prevent us from taking risks and reaching our fullest potential, but remember, if it doesn't scare you, it probably isn't worth doing. So embrace the fear, take the leap of faith, and get going.
29. Invest in experiences, not just things. Material possessions can bring a temporary happiness, but experiences create lasting memory and growth. So instead of spending your money on all the latest gadgets, clothes, or purses, consider investing in travel, education, and personal development.
30. Learn to say no. Practice in the mirror! Saying no can be difficult, especially when we want to avoid conflict, but sometimes it is necessary for the good of ourselves and our priorities. Remember, you can’t do everything, so choose wisely.
31. Celebrate small wins! It's easy to get caught up in the big picture and forget about the small steps we take along the way, but celebrating incremental ones can help us stay motivated and appreciate the progress we're making.
32. Stop comparing yourself to others! Let me say that again: stop comparing yourself to others. We live in a society that promotes comparison and competition, but the truth is that everyone’s journey is different. Instead of focusing on what everybody else is doing, focus on your own path and your own progress.
33. Practice gratitude. Thankfulness is another powerful tool for improving our mental and emotional well-being. Take the time each day to reflect on those things you're grateful for, no matter how small they might be.
34. Embrace change. Change is going to happen, and I know it can be scary. It is also necessary for our growth and forward motion, so instead of resisting change, get used to it. Have a seat with it. Take it to brunch, and see where it takes you.
35. You hear this at the end of every podcast: you have to remember to complain less and do more. It's easy to get caught up in complaining about our problems, but the truth is complaining rarely leads to a solution. Instead, focus on taking action and making positive changes in your life.
That's it for today! I'm really hoping that these lessons that I've personally learned have inspired you and given you a little food For thought. Remember, this life is a journey, one of growth and learning, and every experience has the potential to teach us something new.